The story below is a work of fiction.
A trained actor with an endless parade of stupid ideas. He would voice the most ridiculous, unrewarding ones and immediately criticize them before his friends could.
“Here’s one: I’ll transplant to a different part of the country, out of the Valley. No one knows me. I’ll pull it off that I’m Ponce de Leon. But he wasn’t in his twenties when he searched for the fountain. Was like early thirties, probably. I’m not French, either. But I’d explain that it would make him younger. Different. And it disappeared after I drank from it.”
The one point that brought his plan down was that he’d have to read through history and come up with 500+ years of backstory to convince everyone. He was the worst at history, but damn-it-all if he wasn’t going to end up a stereotype waiting tables the rest of his life.