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Schrödinger’s cat found him sleeping, buried under the covers, and she wondered if her species’ curiosity could work in the other direction.
— Jay (@Jaybreak) March 13, 2013
He was the Pol Pot to her Eva Braun.
— Jay (@Jaybreak) March 8, 2013
Their host spoke little but his voice set Amanda’s teeth on edge. She silently thanked the kitchen staff for overcooking the tenderloin.
— Jay (@Jaybreak) February 14, 2013
An exact clone of Robert appeared at his door. They played chess.
— Jay (@Jaybreak) February 4, 2013
Drunk on wine and a self-sacrificing love, she made her moves.
— Jay (@Jaybreak) February 2, 2013
Everything intact, no one hurt, a loaded gun nailed up next to the open, breezy doorway. The wealthy home invaders do it just because.
— Jay (@Jaybreak) January 13, 2013
After everyone on earth acquired unnatural powers, Superman’s greatest nemesis was his inability to come up with a new name for himself.
— Jay (@Jaybreak) January 3, 2013
Forgetting the dreams of mistaking his person for delicious foods, he never figured out why he found nothing in his refrigerator appealing.
— Jay (@Jaybreak) December 31, 2012
Bob Ross vs. Thomas Kinkade in the hereafter. God will be the ultimate judge, though after the first brushstroke everyone knew the winner.
— Jay (@Jaybreak) December 29, 2012
On TV, an obese white male bullseyed a trash can with his .44 and demoed the proper way to skin a squirrel. Sesame Street got new writers.
— Jay (@Jaybreak) December 28, 2012
Drunk on the family muse, muttering a non-committal bedside “Heil Hitler”, the Von Trapp children bade adieu to the day’s waking hours.
— Jay (@Jaybreak) December 24, 2012
Whenever an adult joins a children’s snowball fight, Burl Ives, wherever he is, shivers and downs a shot of hot buttered rum.
— Jay (@Jaybreak) December 23, 2012
Fevered, he watched the original Star Wars trilogy bookended by Gremlins and The Last Starfighter. He looked forward to delirium setting in.
— Jay (@Jaybreak) December 23, 2012
The blind seers scratched animal guts and foretold the future. Science is centuries away but their access to the divine will be legendary.
— Jay (@Jaybreak) December 21, 2012
Thin-line horizon, we throw the concrete distance behind us. The earth is flat and we drive as though digging, turtles all the way down.
— Jay (@Jaybreak) December 20, 2012
Jeff told him to go east. He went west. Jeff didn’t mind because he’d come full circle eventually.
— Jay (@Jaybreak) December 18, 2012
Into a loathsome universe saturated with violence a god passes, bearing not a blade nor a quill but a mortal body covered in blood.
— Jay (@Jaybreak) December 19, 2012