The Good Godless Humanist

I had the thought to reboot Jesus’ message of the Good Samaritan into more modern terms after last Sunday’s sermon. Doubtlessly this has been done before, but the point of this was to use people I would expect to be good or bad neighbors in a role reversal, which I think is part of the novelty of what Jesus was getting at. Feel free to substitute your ideal good and bad guys and watch the magic unfold. It’s like a Choose Your Own Adventure book but a little more weirdly wish-fulfillmenty.

I feel like I overplayed my hubris by paraphrasing Son of Big Guy. I really want to know if scripture translators ever question themselves when they get to the red letters because screwing those words up is like giving God a swift crotch-kick. Yeah, it hurts but it’s more embarrassing than anything. And another hang-up: this feels so much like evangelical cheapshot-ism, the “Jesus was the original rebel, dudes!” kind of silliness. We need less Mountain Dew-flavored pop culture references to God being our homeboy in our youth groups and I’m afraid doing a rewording plays into it just a little.

I don’t mean to place myself in the “rah rah the Church sucks” Christian faction by doing that because it presupposes a dangerous thing. Christians who say this imply a disclaimer which appends “except for me and the few close friends that agree with me” after the “sucks” proposition. It’s a criticism of the generalized church as a ghost in the room but it uses special pleading to exclude ourselves from that criticism. I try not to do these things but instead if I disapprove of something I will be specific and avoid generalities about “all Christians”. Is my meta-criticism justified? Well, I sure think so if I’m voicing it.

In reply Jesus said: “A man was walking a few blocks when he was attacked by robbers. They took all his clothes and beat him up, leaving him half dead on the sidewalk. A Christian happened to be going down the same street, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. So too, a pastor, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a godless humanist, traveling the same way, walked past; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, and gave him medicine to ease the pain and speed healing. Then he drove him to a hotel and took care of him. The next day he paid the attendant at the front desk with his credit card. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and charge whatever you need to in order to take care of him until I return.’