In this post I’m taking a break from being gaseous about writing or my thoughts one of the dozens (literally…dozens) of books that have been published throughout history to post about your big gut and fat butt. Because honestly, dude and miss, you’re pretty fat and you need to lose weight. Now it’s fine if you want to follow some nutritional or exercise programs — some people do better and need that kind of framework — but it’s not necessary. Certainly, pre-modern man didn’t have a Jane Fonda among their hairy ranks, and they spent their spare time overhead pressing sabretooths, before and after mating. All you need is this post and a nice punch in the face from a loved one to get you going.
EAT
lean meats (fish, chicken, turkey, etc., some say fatty meats aren’t bad) or tofu
vegetables (any/all, some exceptions [see below])
Eggs/egg whites
Olive oil
spices (any/all…sounds weird, but spices do a bunch of good things behind the scenes)
beans, nuts (any/all), legumes, etc.
some fruits
some/little dairy (differing opinions on this)
some/little/no grains (differing opinions on this)
Water (6-8 glasses a day is way overboard…if you’re eating right you get plenty of water from food)
Coffee/tea
Dark chocolate (yes! small amounts)
NO EAT
Corn, potatoes
White flour
Excess salt
Sugar
Soda (includes “diet”)
Fruit juice
Candy
Chips
Most baked goods
Anything not canned that has an expiration date years from now
Everything else you know you’re not supposed to eat
EXERCISE
Depends on your level of fitness, but 3 or 4 days a week of heavy exercise (resistance training and/or intense cardio, and no, walking is not exercise) for 45-60 minutes is good. There’s plenty of programs you can find online. If you’re really overweight, any kind of movement is good, but after a certain point doing more resistance to keep building and/or maintaining muscle mass might be a good idea.
Dudes: no need to get huge and pound your system with protein shakes to be in shape…and stop being scared of salads.
Ladies: don’t be afraid of the weights and the pull up bar. You won’t get bulky unless you’re doping it up. And don’t be fooled by gender-specific marketing, either. What dudes do for exercise, women can do too.
There’s no such thing as “targeting” fat areas. You can’t lose weight in one place, you just lose it.
Don’t buy workout machines you see on QVC. This guy didn’t get in shape by shaking a stupid stick. Free weights/kettlebells/bands/your own body weight and a pull up bar are enough.
SLEEP
6-8 consecutive hours a day. It rebuilds and repairs traumatized (exercised) muscles, relieves stress, makes you actually feel good and more motivated to exercise, and a bunch of other things.
And now to bookend this post with literature-related references, I will be posting a new interview and contest very soon, but only if you lose 10 pounds. Motivation!