Earlier this month Rachelle Gardner gathered a lot of responses from authors about the one-sentence book pitch contest. I mean, she’s a literary agent that encourages comments her blog, so of course authors are going to flock in droves to get themselves noticed. She could post about the off-color of her pee in the morning and receive a whole dump of comments in a few days. Not that she does this; her posts have substance to them. Would be interesting.
I had submitted my own for How the Gods Shook, but in accordance with my usual carelessness it was over the 25 word limit — so there was no way it could get anywhere. It got me doing some revisionary word-surgery.
A disaffected, insomnious rock club owner confronts a rekindled grudge and the blossoming relationship with her new boss.
A disaffected, insomnious rock club owner confronts a rekindled grudge, the blossoming relationship with her new boss, and a deteriorating photograph.
Confronting a dangerous grudge, an insomnious rock club owner tries to contain the blossoming relationship with the manager at her new day job.
Eh. This one is my favorite, I think:
A disaffected, insomnious rock club owner confronts a dangerous grudge and tries to contain the simmering relationship with the manager at her new day job.
25 words exactly. I was able to stuff four conflicts in there: her “disaffection” (it’s not clear with what she’s disaffected, but there’s conflict nonetheless), the grudge, the relationship with her boss, and her insomnia vs. working two jobs. I replaced “blossoming” with “simmering” because the romantic relationship within the workplace is part of the conflict; their lifestyles and ideals clash. I thought that “simmering” left it open to more than just the romantic side.
The big problem I faced is that Gods is almost entirely character-driven and in the first person. There’s a lot of thinking, self- and other-oriented deception, and hemming and hawing over situations. There’s very little action, gimmickry, or cheap plot twists. I just didn’t want to take the easy road and create a hook with nothing lasting on the other end.
Thoughts? Should I just stop altogether?